As most of you know by now, I recently came down with a really bad case of Pleurisy, which is an inflammation that occurs around the lining of the lungs. This is very common for people who are battling Lupus. It comes on quite suddenly and if you are not careful it can turn into pneumonia. I have been bedridden for the last week and getting up to make a cup of tea seems like a big luxury theses days. Or when I manage to draw a bath without losing my breath, I can’t help but smile and feel like I have won in some tiny little way. It has been a little over a year since my Lupus diagnosis and it has completely changed my perception of life.
Little things that I would normally worry about, now appear insignificant. I have to constantly let go of plans for the sake of my health. I prioritize based on what will bring me the most joy, because if I don’t it will cost me too much. I no longer have time or hours to spare, because I don’t know what my health will look like from a day to day basis. I have developed a new normal. A new standard if you will, of what is considered a “good day” or a “bad one.”
I have mourned tremendously for the woman who could stay up late and still wake up with so much vigour and hunger for the next day. The woman with her a thousand to do lists and still manage to get everything done. I miss her every day. But that was another life. I read somewhere, that every next level of your life will demand a different version of you. And so, I have had to step up to the plate and embrace this new chapter. I tell you all of this to let you know that it has not been easy. And because we are friends, and we share a little corner of the world together, I want to be more transparent with all of you. I want to write about the things that matter. Things that hurt. Things that make me laugh and all of the things that bind us together as humans. I think the world needs more of that.
Thank you for all your kindness and support. It means the world to me.
All my love.